Compass Coffee Owners Form ‘Americans For Real Good Coffee’ Super PAC

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"Make Americanos Great Again" is not just a slogan that the owners of Compass Coffee are slapping on T-shirts. Harrison Suarez and Michael Haft have taken their coffee campaign—riffing on Donald Trump's "Make America Great Again" mantra—to its natural conclusion by actually forming a super PAC called Americans For Real Good Coffee. They made a filing with the Federal Elections Committee on Jan. 11, stating that they intend to use the committee for independent expenditures but not candidate contributions. Suarez is listed as "treasurer" and Haft as "secret agent." 

"It's an important issue and we want to make sure we can support it properly," Suarez says.

So... why a super PAC?

"Well, we couldn't be just a regular PAC," Suarez says.

"This is a constitutional right," Haft adds.

The two giggle over speakerphone.

As Haft goes on to explain, too many people are drinking shitty Americanos. "There's a lot of coffee shops that literally don't know how to make a proper Americano or even know that there was a time when Americanos were great, so our goal is to help other coffee shops across the United States make Americanos great again," he says.

Fair enough. How will they go about funding this super PAC?

"These are still the operational challenges that we look to ironing out in the coming weeks," Haft says.

And what will the do with any potential funds?

Get a tour bus, duh.

"We've seen many people get tour buses and then use those tour buses to drive around. And after they drive around, they have rallies," Haft says. "We're a down-to-earth super PAC. We don't want a fancy tour bus... We can just get an old school bus, if that was more readily available."

Look out, Iowa.