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As hard as it is for me to believe this, I’m the mother of a teenager. In fact, Tom will be entering 10th grade this September.

The years have gone so fast that I really feel as if one day I was taking pictures of him graduating from our Mommy and Me class, the next day I couldn’t believe he was in the fourth grade, and then bang, he was in high school.

Playdates at friends’ houses have been replaced by going out for sushi, a movie, or walking around town with his buddies. Alone. No adults watching over them.

Instead of chatting with his friends’ parents over coffee at kitchen tables, we wave to them out of car windows.

The times they are a-changin’.

Whenever my family or friends ask about Tom and marvel at the fact that he is now a teenager, the subject of alcohol and drugs always seems to come up. As in, how will I handle it when he comes home drunk for the first time? Or what will I do if I find out that he’s been using drugs?

I always find the questions a bit baffling, because it’s just assumed that Tom will try these things. In fact, the common answer I get from most of my friends and family is that of course he will.

Truth be told, I find this mindset maddening. And if I were a kid today, I would find it really confusing.

From the time Tom was in kindergarten, he has been learning in school that drinking and drugs are dangerous choices. He has read books and been shown movies about how alcohol can affect your judgment and make it easier to engage in other risky behaviors like unprotected sex or driving under the influence.

In eighth grade, his health teacher made the whole class write letters addressed to themselves making the promise that they wouldn’t smoke, drink or have unprotected sex in high school.

Yet so many parents take it as a foregone conclusion that their kids will engage in any manner of risky behavior.

I’ve been accused of living in “La La Land” if I think otherwise. “Kids will be kids,” some say. Others will chime in with, “after all, we did it.”

Really? Are these the criteria we are going to base our parenting on?

I get it. My son is growing up, and he’s going to have to make choices for himself.

I want him to spread his wings and discover who he is. And as much as some people think I’m living under a rock, I do know that he is going to make mistakes along the way.

But, I want him to know where I stand on engaging in behaviors that are at best risky and at worst illegal or life-threatening.

I never want my son to say that I wasn’t clear about my feelings — so I’m writing them out here, for all to see.

Dear Tom,

The legal drinking age in this country is 21. Please know that dad and I will never allow you to have alcohol in our house or in our presence until you reach that age. Please also know that no good has ever come from a group of teenagers drinking. It’s a recipe for all kinds of disasters.

If you should choose to drink, you’ll not only be breaking the rules of our house, you’ll be breaking the law.

If you get stopped for driving under the influence, or the police get called to a party where you have been drinking, you may be in a position where we can’t protect you.

Always call me and your dad. ALWAYS. No matter what you have done.

Don’t ever follow up a bad choice with one that’s worse just because you’re afraid of disappointing us or making us angry.

Will we be happy? Of course not. But we would much rather get you and any friend who wants to come with you home safely, than get a call saying you are NEVER coming home.

Let me be clear that the fact that we love you and will stand by you does not in any way mean we will stand by while you do things that you know aren’t good for you.

There are those who will tell you that your parents are being unreasonable and totally unrealistic. Some may tell you that you are a teenager and it’s a rite of passage to get drunk. They may even regale you with stories of their own youthful mistakes.

Listen to your own heart and trust your gut. Also know there is nothing cool about waking up in your own vomit, or having a DUI before you are 18.

Your father and I are so proud of the man you are becoming. We love you so much that we don’t care if you hate us. That’s our gift to you — we are your parents, not your friends.

Always,

Mom

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BALTIMORE (AP) — A federal judge says a political candidate whose last name is Hershey must stop using campaign materials that mimic the look of the famous chocolate bar.

The judge ruled Thursday that Maryland state Sen. Stephen Hershey Jr. must stop using his dark brown signs with white lettering. The company filed a trademark infringement lawsuit in June.

Hershey argued his signs, with a background of the Maryland flag in brown, are different enough to be permissible.

Judge William Quarles disagreed and issued a preliminary injunction, suggesting the company is likely to win its lawsuit.

Hershey said in a statement that he will comply with the injunction. His office has said Hershey has been told his family tree intersects with that of company founder Milton S. Hershey, but they aren’t close relatives.

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In a perfect world, I’d do all of my grocery shopping at a leisurely pace at the farmers’ market, make my own yogurt, cheese and butter, can all of my own fruits and vegetables, and have pastured chickens grazing in my backyard providing eggs naturally rich in omega-3s to feed my always polite and perky children.

The reality is, some of these things happen some of the time (minus the grazing chickens and perpetually perky children). I fill in with convenience items when needed. Even though “convenience food” is often code for junk food, it’s not always the case. Take Trader Joe’s, for instance, which does a pretty darn good job of offering “quick and easy” that is also rather healthy.

And while I get my Trader’s fix a couple of times a month, some folks I know don’t shop anywhere else and wax so enthusiastically about the place, you’d think Trader Joe was someone they were dating. Plus, who doesn’t love those tiny cups of coffee to swill as you shop?

The upside of Trader Joe’s is that it promises that any food bearing its label has no artificial colors, flavors, preservatives, genetically modified ingredients, MSG, or added trans fats. Love that, too!

The downside? The foods rely a little more heavily on packaging than I like. It would also be nice to see a few more organic items in the mix. All that being said, here are my top picks for shopping at Trader Joe’s.

Trader Joe’s Top 20

1. Pain Pauline — The name and style of bread is clearly a play on the famous Pain Poilane of France. And while it isn’t quite the loaf of its Parisian counterpart, it does make for an excellent slice of toast or grilled cheese sandwich. Plus, made with whole grains and just three ingredients — whole wheat, water, and salt — it meets my guidelines for a better bread.
2. Steamed Lentils — I was pretty surprised by how good these were the first time I picked them up in the produce section of the store. The lentils maintain their texture and don’t go to mush, as you might expect. Make a Lentil Salad by warming them slightly, adding diced vegetables, olive oil and vinegar, salt and pepper, and chopped fresh herbs.
3. Trader Joe’s Pound Plus Dark Chocolate — I prefer bittersweet chocolate to milk for its higher antioxidant content. This one is imported from Belgium and sold at a significant discount over many mainstream brands.
4. Organic Popping Corn — One of the best, whole grain snack foods you can buy, and Trader Joe’s offers an organic one at under two bucks a bag. That’s a lot of movie time.
5. Frozen Wild Sockeye Salmon — Of course nothing beats fresh fish, but with the steep price of wild salmon these days, this frozen sockeye is a tasty alternative.
6. Freeze-Dried Fruit — The store stocks a variety of one-ingredient freeze-dried fruit, including raspberries, strawberries, and grapes. They’re a fine fix for a sweet tooth and excellent in place of dried fruit in granola and homemade muesli.
7. Old Fashioned Blister Peanuts — There’s some kind of magic in these peanuts. Bigger than garden variety peanuts, they’re superbly crunchy and perfectly salted. Tasty eaten out of hand, I also love them in peanut butter cookies or tossed into an Asian slaw. Double thumbs up.
8. Pure Maple Syrup — Although I grew up on Mrs. Butterworth’s, I’ve adopted pure maple syrup to pour over pancakes and use as a household sweetener. Trader Joe’s offers a more affordable option in a generous size than most markets.
9. Shredded Raw Carrots — Sure I could peel and grate a whole mess of carrots to keep on hand, but the fact is, I don’t. This has become a refrigerator staple to add to sandwiches, wraps, and salads.
10. Whole Wheat Lavash Bread — This is a pantry staple for wraps, roll ups, and easy Lavash Pizza. They also sell a white flour version, but I find the whole wheat goes under the radar with my crew.
11. Mini Brie Bites — Another kid favorite for school lunch, these little Bries sold in a pack of six are darn cute and good for a snack along with a piece of fruit. They also make a quick breakfast smeared on whole grain bread under sliced tomato.
12. Trader Joe’s Brand Plain Organic Yogurt — I always have a tub of plain yogurt in the fridge, preferring to add my own fruits and sweeteners over having someone else do it for me. This creamy organic yogurt does the job.
13. Thai, Lime & Chili Almonds — Warning: These are spicy. Seasoned with lemongrass, lime, and chili, they make a good snack food fix for the spicy-tolerant child or for a grown-up alongside a favorite cocktail.
14. Cabot Sharp Cheddar — A sharp Cheddar that is actually sharp, a little goes a long way with this Cabot cheese since it’s mega flavorful.
15. Baby Beets — For a quick side dish, these tender, cooked beets sold in the produce section are a cinch. I like to slice them, mix with oranges or tangerines, toss with olive oil and vinegar, and top with crumbled feta.
16. Bob’s Red Mill Flax Meal — Since flax seeds need to be ground in order to yield the full nutritional benefits, I opt for flax meal rather than whole seeds. I store the flax meal in the freezer and add a scoop or two to baked goods, homemade granola, hot cereal, and smoothies for a fiber and omega-3 boost.
17. Refrigerated Whole Wheat Pizza Dough — I buy pizza dough when I don’t have time to make my own. Trader Joe’s makes for a pretty fine pie.
18. Roasted Seaweed Snack — Seaweed is naturally rich in minerals, low in calories and takes care of the “salty snack” fix. My kids are crazy about it.
19. Frozen Fruit — I keep a small storehouse of frozen fruit on hand (organic when I can get it) for breakfast and after school smoothies. Trader Joe’s has a good variety.
20. Organic Persian Cucumbers — These petite cucumbers don’t need to be peeled or seeded so make a quick add-in to salads or school lunches. They’re crunchy and get extra points for their “cute” factor.

P.S. I also like the wine section of the store. Bargain basement prices and a good variety of options.

What are your Trader Joe’s picks?

For more from Katie, check out her blog, Mom’s Kitchen Handbook, where you’ll find recipes and tips for feeding a family. You can also follow her on Instagram @KatieMorford and find out what she’s up to on Google+.